Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Codependency: The Illusion of Potential

You knew he was a narcissist when you met him.  But you fell in love with him anyway.  I mean, he was an awesome guy, and he had great potential.  He just needed someone to help him realize it, right?

Wrong.  Great potential in a narcissist is an illusion.  Most have no intention of doing the work to make that potential a reality.  Instead, you’ve been trying to do the work for him, haven’t you?

True, he can be sweet, loving, and wonderful.  But those are fleeting moments, aren’t they?  Most of the time he can’t remember anything you’ve said.  He breaks every promise he makes to you and thinks it’s no big deal.  You’ve been together for years, and he still doesn’t know your favorite color.  He even blames you for his mistakes. 

Worst of all, he’s a master at gaslighting and twisting the truth.  You’re so confused you don’t know what to believe.  You’ve cried more tears during the years you’ve been with him than any other time in your life.  You’ve even developed some health problems that won’t go away.

So why are you still with him?  He may have great potential, but it’s his responsibility to make that a reality.  Not yours.  Part of healing from codependency means walking away from abusive, self-absorbed, narcissistic people.  Even if it’s the man you love. 

Be good to yourself.  Get professional help.  Find a therapist or life coach to show you how to rearrange your priorities, so you’re at the top of your list rather than at the bottom. 

Your potential is not an illusion.  It deserves all your attention.  Concentrate on developing your potential instead of his.  I think it’s time, don’t you?

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Contact me anytime at: laurastamps18 [at] yahoo [dot] com

Sunday, December 6, 2015

The Importance of Exercise After Rehab

You’re back from alcohol rehab.  You’re no longer drinking, and you’ve built a strong support system for yourself.  You’re trying to eat healthier.  You’ve walked away from your old drinking buddies at the bar.  And you’ve surrounded yourself with sober friends, who think long-term recovery is an awesome goal.

You’ve worked hard to create a healthier, sober lifestyle.  But you haven’t been able to stick to a weekly exercise regime.

Regular exercise is something you know you need to do.  It reduces cravings and helps your brain heal faster from the effects of addiction.  But your career is demanding, and you’re a busy woman.  Who has the time for exercise?  Not you. 

Yes, you do!  For an exercise program to work, it can’t be another task you “add” to your busy life.  That would be impossible and unhealthy.  Instead, an exercise program must complement your schedule. 

What do I mean?  Roll out an exercise mat in the kitchen and do thirty minutes of yoga stretches while dinner is cooking in the oven.  Buy a stationary bike or exercise machine.  Place it in front of the TV and workout while you’re watching the evening news or your favorite sitcom. 

If your exercise program complements your lifestyle, you’ll stick with it.  A win/win for your body, brain, and long-term recovery goals.

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Would You Like A Quote On Your Current Book Project? 

Contact me anytime at: laurastamps18 [at] yahoo [dot] com